So wired right now

I hate this.
I hate this stress
This school
Not having any time for myself
I hate that my room is a sty.
I hate that I can't be creative because I'm doing work for classes that won't matter in 8 months.
It's disappointing how I have this amazing photography idea I want to do but will probably never get to do it.
I hate discipline.
I hate scales.
I can't stand taking two steps forward and one step back
I'm tired of putting on a front at school. Some days I wish I could show up, and not talk to anybody all day.
I'm sick of people who think high school is the only reality there is. Why can't they see the big picture??
I'm so bored of texting.
I'm so bored of Facebook.
It bugs me how screwed up my adrenals are.
I can't believe I'm gonna be waking up in 5 hours.
I'm sick of dragging through the days.
I'm sick of feeling like Rip van Winkle after taking an unexpected 3 hr nap.
I wrote an extended metaphor on 'fog' for a class and you know what? I actually enjoyed myself. I felt very Emily Dickinson. It was the first time I've advanced creatively in 3 years.
3 years!!!!! It's insane.
Why did I do that co-op for two years, it amounted to nothing. Just a lot of stress, mediocrity, and lap-books. NOTE TO ALISHA. DON'T MAKE YOUR KIDS DO THEM IN HIGH SCHOOL. I'm not one to believe crafts prepared you for the SAT.

You know what I really want to do with my time? Go to the Vans store and buy some cute skinny jeans that stop at the ankles so you can roll them up. Then I want some really cute menswear-inspired shirts. You know, with the neat collars. Maybe some Sperry Top Siders. Call me preppy. I don't care. Then I want to go to this one thrift store in phoenix and buy a bunch of records I saw 2 yrs ago. Houses of the Holy in original plastic. Things like that. Then I wanna go to a vintage clothing store in Tempe/scottsdale area. Get my hair done at Rumor's and buy a bunch of film and start my photography project as my hobby.
I also want to buy some more Stride Shaun White gum. It's the only thing that makes me happy right now

But no. I wake up, eat, do homework, practice piano, shower, eat, practice again, probably go somewhere usually errands or a class, then more homework, and then eat and go to bed. That's how I spend my days. All of them. Weekends are no different. If I'm lucky, I make it to scottsdale bible cliquey high school ministry on Wednesdays.

I know this really cool girl, and I really want to hang out with her because I basically have no kindred spirits in my life (if Anne Shirley were here, she would be proud of my word choice.) But I don't know how to hang out with a friend. I don't know what we would do, or where we would go. Or if she would even have fun or not.
I'm getting tired. This is a good thing. Tomorrow's a new day with no mistakes in it. (wow two Anne terms in one post!!)

Picture: this is my computer where I do my work. My red shutters are my favorite part and I always change my screen to a photo I've taken.