Old Patterns

Last night I had a dream it was the first day of school. It was pretty realistic, if you can overlook the fact that we flew to get around campus, classes were in different rooms of my house, and an old acquaintance from freshman year was back in our circle of friends. Now this friend--in real life--never treated me very well and almost symbolizes a time in my life I wish to never repeat. I thought it was odd that Friend was back and was a little concerned Friend was going to make life a repeat of 2008-2009. So there we were, my little group of friends, back at school like a nice reunion. Except it wasn't happy, but instead vexing.
I wonder what that dream meant? I think it means that a new year brings anticipation and a chance to change things and better yourself or redeem yourself somehow. And there's always that creeping thought in your head that you will slip into old habits and allow autopilot to take over instead of being actively involved in living your life. I look at last year and I see a lot of confusion.
As you may or may not know, last year I was emotionally bullied by a few in my circle of friends. Odd as this sounds, they accepted me and loved me as much as they flippantly slammed me. I now understand what it was: complete immaturity...and the most immature one involved was myself. I allowed it to happen in fear of losing my popularity.
So this summer I feel like I've discovered this new side to me; a side that won't stand for any more crap, yet still eager to give them a second chance.
The dream was a foreshadowing of things to come if I fail.