Starts with a "P" ends with a "Y"

Here's a topic that this homeschooler hasn't really thought much about.

P A R T I E S

This is what I know:

1. I have no business ever entertaining an idea to attend or even getting within a two mile radius of a party.
     a. There's alcohol there. Last I checked drinking age was 21 & that doesn't happen until you're a senior. Jail sounds like a horrible place to spend the night.
     b. Losers are at those parties. Guys in bro tanks and girls in....slips.
     c. Even if you're DD, someone drunk could grab you & put you through a Tijuana Car Wash. I saw it on King of the Hill.
2. People will spike your soda and that never ends well.
3. Mrs. Vondra told me everything I need to know about ASU sketchiness. She rocks. I can't let her down.