Reality Check

I’ve rationalized an addiction of mine. It’s a quiet one that takes place in my own mind. I’ve indulged it so much that it’s become familiar and all hints of its true colors have been ignored. My rationalization of worrying, foreseeing, creating, and pondering potential—unlikely—scenarios has been done in the name of “wisdom” and “preparation.” When it actually means, “I don’t trust God and here’s why I think that’s okay.” I am motivated to pursue excellence, and that can be misused, and turned into perfectionism when I take matters into my own hands and rely on my own strengths to accomplish things. Instead of pursuing excellence to glorify God, I pursue it in order to succeed. Driven by the fear of failure, I pursue perfectionism at the expense of seeking the truth that Jesus provides. But letting your mind run wild creates a sick sort of addicting soap opera; like a drug, you crave it more. And as a consequence, two things step into play: Pride—because if things happen the way I ‘foresee,’ it is a testament of my ‘intuition.’ I praise myself for being so ahead of the curve, as if I had anything to do with it. As if I orchestrated the events instead of the God of the Universe. Anxiety—as I condition myself become anxious and flighty, I also open a wide door to doubt. Painting myself in a corner, I become filled with anything BUT the fruit of the spirit. I can no longer decipher human interaction. The lines between reality and perceived reality become blurred.

 "GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD." So often we read/hear/speak these words, and the message of profound trust gets glossed over. We have to trust that God is working in and through us. Trust that He has provided sufficiently for you today. To doubt, would to be call God a liar. Trust that He will always provide what you need now, and for the rest of your life. Sometimes when struggling through life in certain areas, we feel dissatisfied. “Why is this still happening? How come every time I progress, I end up learning more about myself that needs to change? Learning about more sins, and discovering new faults?” Well news flash: sanctification is a life-long process. Remove yourself from staring at the tempestuous waves of your life circumstances and keep your eyes on the Savior. These lessons—and finding new places where you need to change—are all a part of God’s plan of redemption. Be like a child who totters across the floor; take those first shaky steps. They may certainly lead to multiple falls. You may cry. You may only take one step before falling down. But whatever you do, don’t curse the falling down. Because then you may give up on walking, and running, which could lead to swimming, to dancing, to climbing, and to other countless activities of movement. Don’t curse the falling down and prefer to sit on the floor and crawl.