Incentive

I realized I need to reward myself for finishing my easy essay that's due on Sunday. If and when this essay is completed, I will delve into detail of my encounter with an interesting Monday.

Also things that are on my mind:  this kid in my history and English class looks SUPER familiar. He has a blunt, but short, haircut and frequently contributes in class discussion. He also draws crazy manga drawings in his binder during lecture.

Ten bucks says he was homeschooled.

Dressed Up

I got dressed up for a night on...
...the couch.
Kenzie came over and we watched Dance Mom's, United Bates of America, The Week the Women Went, and Pretty Little Liars.
Dad flipped out when he came home and saw the DVR.

My history professor used 'onerous' 6 times in his lecture yesterday.

Still pales in comparison to Mr. Klemm.

Too Many Words

English assignment:  350-400 words.
Eve assignment: 700 words.

...Someone help me

First Day of ASU

The drive was beautiful this morning. I was on the road by 6:45 and boy, is Arizona gorgeous. I drove into a Nebraska-looking storm to the south and watched the morning sun play on the scatter of bird wings and the shiny side of tree leaves. I've always wanted a stormy, cloudy first day of college. God is just so cool with details.
Pics from the day. Gammage Auditorium--I park there. Music Building--notice the semicircular windows. Hayden Library--the entrance is underground. Typical bathroom picture. I had 4 hours to kill, gimme a break.
The traffic is insane down there. Driving is difficult when you're lumbering around in a Ford expedition. I almost hit a human soul today because he dashed out in front of my vehicle without looking for cars. Insane.
I'm basically with my thoughts for 8 hours. I didn't say anything to anyone all day--it was trippy.

Hectic

I went to ASU today to purchase textbooks for next week. I also met my ENG 101 professor; he was nice.
I learned some things today:
It's freaking too humid to walk to classes and I'm bringing my bike.
There is nothing cool about sorority girls. Not like the movies at all.
People walk v e r y slow on the sidewalks on purpose. Can't we all follow the walk right/pass on left rule like the rest of the world?

I went to the music building to scope out some practice rooms ahead of time. I made the mistake of walking down the piano performance practice hallway. They all sounded really good and I couldn't help but feel slightly intimidated. I glanced at the time sheet on each door:  every name was Asian.

It's going to be a long semester.

The Assembly for Exploratory Majors Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff

MEMORIAL UNION--VENTANA BALLROOM

I

was an hour and half late to the assembly because I woke up late and honestly didn't even want to go that bad.  It's amazing the freedom I have knowing that I'm a commuter and nothing is 'mandatory.'  Nobody is going to be bursting into my dorm room at 7:15 AM decked out with mardi gras beads, hyper smile and a megaphone and prod me into a herd of slowly moving mouth-breathing freshman.

I walked in and a concerned advisor informed me I had missed all the speakers (darn) but good thing I came just in time for lunch! Then he thrust a a yellow shirt and foam pitchfork into my hands. Emerging from the lunch line, I stood there with my pizza and looked at the vast sea of yellow shirts. Which stranger should I sit by? I thought these moments were reserved for high school.
I chose the first table I saw--it looked pretty harmless. There's a laugh!
I met two girls who were also commuters, but they didn't have classes at Tempe.  After exploring the exciting  world of Conversations with Complete Strangers, my eyes moved to the unexplored part of the table.
A "bro" with diamond ear studs, fake-n-bake tan, sat chatting it up with a girl in a tight ASU shirt, and Amy Winehouse eyeliner. Dear goodness half of my table is Jersey Shore.
Then two more bros shuffled in and sat down next to Mike the Imitation--each with an obviously brand new Sector Nine. These were Zoni Bros. With tans that said, "I sat in the house with the AC on all summer and got burned at Havasu once."
Snippets of the broversation:

"Dude this s--- is wack. Can I just go back to f------ bed?"
"Hahaha those light fixtures up there would be cool to put vodka in, and spin them around. Rainin' booze. Yea know what I'm talkin' bout? Aha."
"So I got a good look at that guy, he is SERIOUSLY yoked. Like  lookin' like an inverted triangle. With tiny feet, how the hell does he stand on his skateboard? That dude's just too big for his own good."
"Hey a buddy I know told me which supplements you should take for that. I think estrogen blockers--for sure---and, milk thistle really helps if you're gonna do roids."
"That pizza is not sitting right inside... dang."

They pumped party music in the room and I weakly tried to socialize with the girl next to me but was distracted by a nearby table stacking a tower of plastic drinking tumblers.
Then a gay guy in a glitter hat tried to rally the whole room together and passed the mic to the RA's who were jumping, clapping, and dancing to the Cha-Cha Slide.  The whole room of 345 students started dancing like idiots while the welcoming committees ran around the room trying to get shy people to dance. The Jersey Bro started dancing, but the Zoni Bros just sat there and kept saying, "This is stupid." I didn't move or even clap.  I just waited for the moment to pass--but as usual with social disasters, it progressed at glacial pace.
"Can we do requests?" said Jersey Bro, "CUPID SHUFFLE..CU-PID SHUFFLE!"
For the next thirty minutes each RA grabbed the mic to introduce the kids on their floor. It was a literal out of body experience to watch clusters of maroon and gold bellow "A-S-U" with grotesque screaming, raging, party faces. Foam pitchforks and fists pumped up and down as they tried to out-do the others. It looked more like a village riot than a freshman rally.

As soon as we lined up to walk to the Well's Fargo Center for a class of 2016 pep rally, I bailed.

ORANGE MALL--ASU BOOKSTORE

Zach Galifianakis stood in isle HST. Not really, but I swear it was him. Pasty skin, bushy red hair, and awkwardness radiating from his frame.  He did everything BUT help me; proceeding to crowd my space with a stony silence as I chose my books.  Later, he explained the option of textbook rentals:
"So with rentals you get purchase the textbook-- but not for good--you just use it all semester and then bring it back here on December 22nd." So that's how rentals work.
"Thanks you've been real helpful. I'm going to buy my books now, bye."
I'm four paces down the isle when he abruptly calls out, "Have a good rest of the day."

"It's freakin Fall."

I said this phrase about thirty times today.
WHY? Because summer is over.
I can feel it--like a soft numbness settling over me.
I can see it--the shadows getting a little longer.
I can smell it--September humidity and dead grass recovering from killer heat.
I can hear it--earlier bedtimes all around and silence during the peak of the day.

When I was a kid I used to take a large mirror, hold it, walk around backwards and view the world going on behind me.  It's a change in perspective, like stepping into an alternate universe. Quite an inexplicable feeling. As if your house and everything that is familiar to you is turned completely around and inside out.
I felt that way today. It was an complete night-and-day difference from the day before. I had stepped from summer into fall in a mere 8 hours. I woke up and nothing felt familiar; my world has turned around and inside out.
Then I was hit with a wave of memories (typical for me.)
_________________________________________________
How old am I? First grade? No, third, fifth, or seventh?
Soon there will be dark, early mornings like the ones in 2001.
Checking the inside of the cupboard door where the lunch menu is taped. "What are we eating at Cafeteria today?"
To the times in 2003 where life was reduced to a perpetual waiting period; when every night was a school night.
"Why are the streetlights so orange looking? And why is the dark pavement so black after twilight? It looks like it could be water. And maybe it is. Maybe the only places for solid ground are where the lights fall and everything else is a bottomless pit. I bet I could jump from circle to circle without falling."
Gathering the mail after school in 2005.
My fist holds another Party City catalog. I notice the mail smells different in the fall--it smells like Halloween. Last year I had 210 pieces of candy.
A primitive form of exercising in 2007--the twilight bike ride.
I'm fumbling with bike gears and feeling for the rough plastic pedals under my feet. Did I just forget I had a sweater tied around my waist? That explains the dragging sound on my rear tire. Wow it smells like horse and stagnant dust on this street.
A Sunday night. With a paper due in the morning. It's untouched. That's okay I'll cram and write five paragraphs when I get home and type it tonight just like I do every week. 

_________________________________________________

How old am I? I think I'm 18. I think I'm going to college on Friday. Can I be sure? No. I have this urge to buy a backpack and new crayons. "MO-OM?"

Starts with a "P" ends with a "Y"

Here's a topic that this homeschooler hasn't really thought much about.

P A R T I E S

This is what I know:

1. I have no business ever entertaining an idea to attend or even getting within a two mile radius of a party.
     a. There's alcohol there. Last I checked drinking age was 21 & that doesn't happen until you're a senior. Jail sounds like a horrible place to spend the night.
     b. Losers are at those parties. Guys in bro tanks and girls in....slips.
     c. Even if you're DD, someone drunk could grab you & put you through a Tijuana Car Wash. I saw it on King of the Hill.
2. People will spike your soda and that never ends well.
3. Mrs. Vondra told me everything I need to know about ASU sketchiness. She rocks. I can't let her down.

Saw this in Houston

I want to dress like this.
I also want this jacket and navy American eagle pants. I like classy/vintage. I hate what the hipsters have done to 'vintage.' Floral prints, metal studs, and mom jeans. It's gross.

Meanwhile in Minnesota

They're all having fun without me. I was [this] close to flying out, but didn't.
Photo caption: "Corn or cookie?"
Location: Grandparent's country home. That is my mom's sister, Steph in the pic.

I can't believe I missed the first choir practice of the year. It was yesterday and I was planning to go, but just forgot. I need some B12

9

More days of summer.

Make that 8 pounds

I'm halfway to freshman 15 at this rate. School hasn't even started yet

4 Pounds

My unwelcome summer friend