I've been living in my mind lately, even though I move about in my everyday activities.  If other's don't see it, I know I do.  I embody someone who's distracted.
But I would say I'm Providentially distracted.

And I see it
Feel it
Know it
See it's shapeless form on the horizon
Am convinced that this is all God's grace


Grace:
It's as pervasive as the gentle March wind that sweeps yellow Palos Verde flowers across grey pavement
It's in the way that I take hold of a guiding, navigational tool. The curve of a steering wheel; the handlebars of a bike.
It echos into my bones like the organ, choir, brass and timpani at Christ and St. Luke's--one of my highly-regarded memories
It's in the narrative that runs through my brain. The words that I hear, in complete sentences, running through my head every hour of the day
It's in the assurance that what I'm doing now, is for a reason.
It's in the detailed and symbolic dreams in which I've been able to trace patterns over the past few years.

I want to be a 21st century organist.  I sense a new world on the horizon; a world where I could be a pioneer, as I don't have much competition.  Using my skills as a contemporary keyboardist and classical musician.

I want to get my pilot's license.  I've tasted flight and I cannot go back.  I don't just want to see sunsets, I want to be in the midst of them.  To be in a point of view that is only allowed to a few.

I want to be so comfortable with every aspect that centers around boating, camping, and hiking.  To the point that I can be a guide.  Able to handle many situations, able to have the skills, knowledge, and experience.  To explore this state--city and country--and know the 'special places' that people will enjoy.  To bring them to an expansive ridge and see the sunset in their bewildered eyes.  To allow their souls to be stricken by creation and think big thoughts, dream big dreams, and pray fervent prayers.

I want to lead and inspire in ministry.  I am happy whether or not I'm "in charge."  I am more concerned about coming alongside others or helping programs be more effective. I want to pour into the next generation of techs and at College Group and/or youth ministry.

I want to be a producer at any SBC multi-site, and a video switcher at our broadcast studio.

I want to ski mountains, surf waves, travel with my cousins, and experience restorative Minnesota summers.

I want to be paired with someone who has the same dreams.  The same common denominator that runs through all these goals.  I am not content to just exist in a relationship for relationship's sake.  I need to be moving towards something; going somewhere; undertaking bigger pursuits.

I want to be unafraid to publish this post.