Slacking and Winning

I'm not going to school tomorrow, my adrenals, immune system and mind needs a break. Especially after what I went though today:
I played the best performance of my life tonight. A theme from Phantom of the Opera at the Music of the Cinema performance with Bardin Music Studio at Chandler Center for the Performing Arts. I was feeling SO sick with a cold. I felt listless, lethargic, stuffy and had to sit through 76 minutes of everyone's pieces in a sqeaky chair, tight dress (freshman 15), pinching shoes and half-lidded eyes. FINALLY it was my turn to head backstage. Mr. Bardin noticed my pasty face once I walked through the stage door and said, "This is your life now. Whatever nervousness you're feeling; put it out of your mind." My lack of an answer promted him to ask why I was nervous.
"Oh it's not that," I said, "I'm just sick."
"Sick? What kind of sick?"
"Like, I have a cold and just want to curl up in a ball and sleep right now."
I waver on my feet and grip the metal railing on the spiral staircase that leads downstairs to the warm-up room.
"Well. You're just going to have to go out there anyway. I could tell you all about the lower back pain I had this morning, but that's just life--"
I slowly descend the metal stairs thinking to myself, wow Mr. Bardin. You asked, and now I'm getting scolded. Obviously I'm performing, I don't have a choice.
So long story short, I used all of my energy to walk onto that stage and play my 6 minute piece. It sounded so good and it was very acurate. The audience loved it. (Well, I was last, wasn't I?) I'm making progress with my musicianship; this was a great step. I couldn't have done this four years ago. Let alone, one year ago.

Christmas is the last performance with the studio. It's in November. I really hope I don't cry or something. Leaving the studio is going to be so strange. I've literally seen Mr. Bardin every week for the past 8 years. What's going to happen next semester when I take studio instruction with an ASU stranger? I hope I get someone nice. I know they have a liberal, feminist lady on faculty. Spare me.