My thoughts are poison to me. I haven't been this way since spring 2010. I wouldn't go out and say the 'D' word. (depression) but I believe it's as close as I can get to it as a Christian.
I have to do something about it. Self-pity isn't helping. People are starting to get sick of my complaining.
I'm going back to the way that helped me in the past: writing down Satan's lies swimming around in my mind. The ones that keep me up for hours and play like a loop while at home. I don't want to be so introspective. I only want to focus on God.
When the lies are laid out on the page, I can really separate them from the truth that I KNOW, and the lies vying to become my reality. The next step is to find various scripture passages that combat each of these lies. This really worked out in the past. Spiritual warfare is so prevalent.
So, for the next week or so, this is where I'll be. Writing, reading, and fighting darkness.
Two songs that stand out this weekend: "Be Thou My Vision" and, "In Christ Alone."
We sang "In Christ Alone" during church today. Being a part of Renew weekend was amazing. I can't wait for the 100th year anniversary. I wonder if I'll still be in choir. The worship at this church really leads you to the throne room.
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